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Eastern Alliance 3 - Teledivision Show

Eastern Alliance 3 - Teledivision Show
TeleDiVision Show in Bucharest & Chissinau (Part 1)

10.05.2006 00:00:00 - 10.07.2006

National Museum of Contemporary Art / Calea 13 Septembrie, Bucuresti /

prepared by EA programmers= Ivan Mecl, Jiri Ptacek, Spunk Seipel, Leonor Nuridsany, Alena Boika, Petrit Hoxha, Hana Vojacková, Marisol Dodríguez

WHY ARE WE COMING

The task of every government is to keep its citizens‘ stereotype illusions and to feed them old cliches, e.g. drugs are dangerous, alcohol and cigarettes are harmful to your health and pornography is immoral. At the same time the biggest consumers of drugs are the ruling classes and the horny pornography consumers are impotent politicians. Prohibition was invented by cured alcoholics. The basis of the word moral is scaringly close to ‚mors‘, death in latin. We don‘t care what you are addicted to and what your sexual preference is. We don‘t blubber about freedom. We don‘t even consider it. Whoever says they know what freedom looks like, is a liar. No one has ever seen it. No political party has ever brought it, not even any president. Only when we stop naming it and violating it, might we see it for a tiny while in a dream. But most surely this won‘t happen. And we brought you this dream, in which you can see many things. But no promises. Maybe you will imprecate us and you will not like it at all. We are prepared. Just come over and see it.

COME TO OUR SHOW

Don‘t watch stupidities at home! Watching TV programs puts you exactly where the rulers want you to be. In the grip of premeditated illusions and untrue stories you can never experience. If you want to live a real life, just reject their made-up news, sweet soap operas and over-the-top adventures. Go out and you will see that a small walk will do you good. Sit at home and don‘t bother. That‘s what the state wants from you. The state is a mold. In the mold we bake and the result is a bulging and burnt cake. The cake is meant to be eaten. Don‘t become just food! Think about yourself. Stop thinking about politics, celebrities‘ problems and where to get money for the stupid things from stupid advertisements. Gas will run out and cars will be useless. If you don‘t have that new vacuum, you can always sweep with a good old broom. All the ketchup and mayonnaise they are selling you will make you sick. Although you are not exactly having a great time, it can‘t be as bad as in Rwanda. Now it is time to go and enjoy yourself. Forget all the idiots!

WHAT IS ART

Art is a touch of death. All the others promise you life and make out that it will never end. But what if the TV or radio sometimes reminded you that many of you will be run over by a car today. Would that be a lie? Many of you will meet a big tragedy in you life, but you lull yourself by saying that you will be lucky. You might be. But probably not. The world doesn‘t know immortality. Some old hag in America is 116. That must be the life. To limp and to walk on crutches. Die young. Forget about retirement. But before that - try to make art. To be an artist! We want to show you that it is possible and that it is worth it. One who never played with fire, will never understand. By the way, fire still hasn‘t been explained. But as concerns the game - they say that one who plays the game, doesn‘t make trouble. But this is about these stupid games with stupid rules. The worst of all the games is to play it safe. But we want you to play a highstakes game, where the rules change unexpectedly. We want to teach you how to play like this. When we say now, you all will tear your passports and ID cards to pieces. And then they can look for you!

WHO IS AN ARTIST

They harass you from all sides: You know what you want! You want all these things we make, you want to have that comfortable life, you want to have the money we print for you. But of what use will this be when you are lying under a crashed van? In your vanishing mind that long, boring soap opera of your life will run backwards, papers with numbers will fly around and the mixer you just bought will crown your head. Is that what you wanted? You haven‘t seen anything, haven‘t dared anything and now bang! That‘s deep shit! The artist doesn‘t know, what they want. They can‘t know it. And they don‘t allow anyone to force on them someone else‘s wants. They asks only themself, because noone else can answer them. Tell us sincerely - have you ever got an answer you were perfectly happy about? We are not giving it to you either. We only wake great doubts in you. Throw those you love most down a cliff!

DO SOMETHING (ELSE)!

We don‘t have to explain this to you. What you didn‘t want you already have. Now you can do whatever you want. We are waiting for you.

Ivan Mecl

 

WORK AND BOREDOM

The devolopment of the boredom index among EU television viewers (including the new member states).

The development of the boredom index among Romanian television viewers.

The rate of the uselessly done work among EU citizens (including the new member states).

The rate of the uselessly done work among Romanian citizens.

Dear television viewers,

Admit, that you are bored by TV. There is nothing to be ashamed about. You are bored whether you are rich or poor, a city dweller or a villager, whether you had a palace built for your boredom by a bad architect or you live cooped up like sardines with your children, parents and grandparents in a two room flat in a dirty suburb of Bucharest. It makes no difference whether you have a plasma TV or watch a TV made in Czechoslovakia 30 agos. Still – you are bored. . Admit that you thought the TV would unite you. Every evening you watch the same program as your family, your schoolmates, your colleagues at work (if you still have any). Admit that this does not help. Or are you happy with those few seconds you need to talk about the results of the soccer team or ugly legs of an old actress who still has to play a sexbomb because no one would give her a job otherwise? The boredom that surrounds these few hours in front of the TV and the seconds you devote to its discussion with others is the only world that belongs to you.

Be bored! Only then will you find out how not to be bored. It will force you to.

The TV is here for you to forget work. For this work being badly paid, or that your company is going bankrupt. But why are you to forget your work? So that you can remember it in the morning! What is important is to keep alive the illusion that there is something else except for the TV. But try to remember “what” that is! Work needs a new idea. In Bohemia we used to have a saying: “one who doesn‘t work, will not eat”. Today it is more “one who doesn‘t work, doesn‘t exist”. Did you notice, how many people judge you according to your job? Are you a miner? A banker? A journalist? A shop assistant? A homeless person? It always ends up being more vital than whether you have something to say to the others. Isn‘t that strange?

Don‘t work! Only then will you find out, what others think of you. Others will make you find out.

An artist doesn‘t actually work. They often don‘t eat. And they probably aren‘t a part of things. How many artists have you met in your life? And were you sure that it was their profession? When an artist watches TV, it is because they want to find out what they don‘t show on the air. You would be surprised what they don‘t release on TV. They would disturb you from a hibernation that is necessary to go through between two shifts. What if the night program would be interesting? You would sleep all day, the machines would stop, there would be no newspaper... you would have to eat yeasterday‘s bread. You would spend less money... You have to be bored to fall asleep early. Artists are bored with you. But during the day they do things against boredom. That is their only job. What do you do in your job?

We have brought to you movies, that no one will ever play on TV. First we will show them in the museum you have behind the parliament in Bucharest. At the back of those who need you to watch those few miserable channels you can catch at home. That‘s the only way how to keep them there. Then we will show our movies in Kishinev. At the places where it is possible. In Moldavia we wanted to infiltrate the parliament as well, but we didn‘t manage to find out whether they have any in there. It is our fault, but understand - we would have to work too much.

Jiri Ptacek

 

Akhe, Alexander Györfi, Anneta Mona Chisa and Lucia Tkácová, Cécile Paris, Cecilia Lundquist, Ciprian Muresan, David Krippendorf, David Ortsman, Debora Hirsch, Dimitry Gutov, Dimitry Gutov and Radek Community, Dorotea Etzler, Gabriel Acevedo Velarde, Gabriela Golder, Guma Guar, Gustavo Galuppo, Jakup Ferri, Jan Suk, Jan Žalio, Jaap de Ruig, Jim Hollands, Jirí Havlícek and Filip Cenek, Joaquin Segura, Joep Van Liefland, Kuang-Yu Tsui, Lebel et le Goff, Linda Urbánková, Luciana Lamothe, Maix Mayer, Marie Denis, Mark Ther, Mark Ther and Ondrej Brody, Martin Zet, Matej Smetana, Matt Saundres, Michal Pechoucek, Nine Budde, Oleg Lystsov, Oliver Pietsch, Ondrej Brody, Ondrej Ševcík, Pavel Ryška, Petr Strouhal, Petra Petileta, Philipp Hirsch and Heiko Tippelt, Philippe Meste, Radim Labuda, Rudina Xhaferi, Sebastiano Mauri, Sláva Sobotovičová, Tim Coe, Thorsten Schlopsnies– Todosch, Zoran Todorovic and Zornitsa Sophia